I Don't understand you
by MissMCQueen
Summary: Very difficult to write. How can Bakura possible hope to understand his host, when Ryou’s personality wasn’t as he assumed.


I don't understand you. 

**Summary:** Very difficult to write. How can Bakura possible hope to understand his host, when Ryou's personality wasn't as he assumed. 

* * *

_I don't understand you._

That's right, every single one of those words are true, not one is a lie. There once existed a time that I could have said that I knew every single corner of your shadow driven mind. I could have said that I knew your every response to any given scenario. _B..but I can't._

I am you after all, I should know you better than you know yourself. I know your dreams and ambitions, your thoughts and feeling, your fears and deepest secrets. I should understand your actions, be able to manipulate you into doing anything I want._ But how could I possible to do that if what I thought was wrong._

I thought you hated me. I saw the way that time after time you went to the very point of self sacrifice just to rid yourself of my presence. I remember words such as 'let me die,' 'get out of my head,' and the ever so powerful 'I hate you.' Every time I came back you would fall down and cry, scream out that you were cursed. 

Did those words hurt me? did they pierce me heart? No of course not. I excepted the fact that you held only bitter hate for your other half. If I could no please you then fine I would make your life a living hell, it mattered nothing to me.  
So then I used you, over and over again I used you to get what I wanted. The sennen eye, the way it was your body that put my plans for battle city into play. I could hear your little voice in the darkness, only a whisper yet it was still present, repeating the same words over and over again. 'This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong.' 

_Oh yes my little host is was all wrong._

I thought back then that those actions would make you simply hate me more, maybe even make you grow fearful. Your mind was so clouded with confusion during that entire tournament that I could barely understand what you were thinking. I just assumed that you were finally going insane. After all with all the things I had been doing to your mind I was surprised that you hadn't snapped sooner. 

Then came the duel with the pharaoh, the very duel in which I had to face the consequences of agreeing to Marik's plan. I realised at that moment that I should have duelled the sennen rod holder and taken it when I had the chance. But then of course his offer was so tempting and delightful that I couldn't turn it down. 

I had almost crushed and broken the pharaoh before he drew the very card that would be my down fall. _Damn Pegasus for creating the god cards._ I did as Marik instructed and let you take control of your pain stricken body. You immediately fell to your knees and began to whimper out pathetically, just as Marik planned. It amused me the way the pharaoh's confident aura fell and his eyes began to tremble in fear and confusion. I knew in the back of my mind that just like in the duel with Kaiba he would not dare take someone's life.  
But then I saw the way that Marik's eyes flickered with confidence and victory, and it suddenly came to me. _If I let it go on Marik would have been the one to win._

So I took back control and for the first time ever I rose to protect you. But I was more protecting myself then I was your life. I made that clear to you soon afterwards, very clear. 

You got your little wish soon after that didn't you. Remember when I went against Marik in that dark duel and lost because of a god card yet again. The way that my soul was consumed by darkness and we were separated in the process. For the first time since I made my presence known you were truly alone. I thought you'd jump for joy. 

It didn't last though did it. Maybe the advantage of letting Yugi win was that he managed to defeat the other Marik and bring my soul back from the darkness and back to the ring. Ku, I think that I could have almost thanked him if he hadn't tried to hide me from you. 

Yugi made an attempt to hide the ring from you didn't he. The lengths that he would go to just to make sure that I could not be brought forth. Oh the stupidity. I was slightly worried though, I'll admit that. In the back of my mind I had thoughts of you simply walking off the blimp and hoping that the ring would never return to you. As if. 

But you found me didn't you? I wasn't quite sure why, I came to the conclusion that you had simply given up trying to fight me. Maybe it was easier to get it over and done with raver than go through all the complications that would follow once the sennen item found you it's self. Maybe you just didn't want Yugi to have it. 

That night I sat on the end of your bed and watched as you slept. The way you breathed so softly, the way you did not dare stir. It always wondered me how you slept so peaceful when I was forever there to torment you. They way that you were a pawn in a shadow game yet you still managed to look innocent. Maybe it was ignorance. 

You slowly opened your eyes to see me sitting there. I saw the way your eyes slowly began to tremble and water as you sat up and looked at me face to face. I was prepared for the tears, the screams of hate. The forever 'why me' rant. 

"B…Bakura," you managed to stutter out. 

I took a sigh and got ready to cover my ears in case you decided to go completely off. But you didn't did you, you did something completely unexpected. You through yourself at me. At first I thought that you had resorted to violence, but the way you wrapped your arms around my waist and sobbed into my chest told me other wise. 

I was completely shocked, I didn't know what to think at first so I just sat there unable to do so much as blink. You had to be emotionally distraught there was no other reason that I could think of or except.   
A moment of two passed before I could actually manage to blurt something out.  
"Wh..Why are you sad?" I asked. As had as I tried I couldn't prevent my voice from sounding weak. 

Your sobbing continued for a while before you could actually put a sentence together. Eventually you gave up and simply spoke to me through your mind.   
_-I'm not sad, I'm crying because I'm happy-_

Happy, the word pierced through me and sent me numb. Since when had you ever been happy. I was an evil cursed plagued a pon you through destiny. I was the one person you hated and despised more than any other being, how could I ever once bring you happiness.  
For the first time since the tournament had begun I tapped into your mind to see what you were truly feeling. And you were right all that was there was happiness. No sadness, anger, hate or sorrow, I had never once felt you posses so much joy. This only shocked me more. How could I you be so happy to see me. 

It was then that I felt my mind break out into confusion. I did understand this, I couldn't understand this at all. Why weren't you screaming, why weren't your eyes flaring in hate. This was wrong, I know you, you don't act this way. 

"I don't understand you," I whispered softly. 

You raised you head and looked up at me. I could see right there and then from your watering eyes that your thoughts didn't deceive me. 

_-But I understand you Bakura-_

As much as I tried to hide it I knew you could see the fear and confusion in my expression. Not only that but you are far much better at sensing my emotions than I am with yours. 

"Ryou……"I began, but I was lost for something to say. 

_-Don't leave me alone again-_ And with that you sighed and fell asleep while still clinging onto me. 

I didn't embrace you yet I still didn't push you away either. I just sat there till the early hours of the morning when you slowly began to stir. 

_You might know me, but as much as I try I can't understand you._

And before you had opened your mouth the yawn I had already returned to the ring. Maybe if I watched instead of dominated I could maybe some how finally begin to know you like I should. 

_Whatever it takes. _

* * *

Explanation: At the beginning of Yugioh Ryou would practically go to about any lengths to get rid of Bakura and save his friends. After battle city ends Yugi makes an attempt to try and hide the ring from Ryou yet he ends up finding it saying "I found it, I'm so happy." (Manga reference people not anime) 

Little pointless authors rant: I LOVE THE RING MOVIES (You know you watch a hunted tape and you die in a week if you don't copy it and make someone watch it) Ok not the American remake that was pretty tame. The original Japanese ones are really cool. There's about three of them, and they're far creepier. The third (Ring 0) is set before the first and it actually explains what happened to Sadako (The girl with long hair) When she was about 10 she split into two people (this was what drove her mother insane). One was like her mother Shizko, and the other was evil like her real father. The Evil one was the one that hurt people and she wasn't allowed to grow up (Her father (Who wasn't her real father) Dr Ikuma gave her drugs). Unlike to Yankie remake Sadako was about 21 when she fused back with the alter ego and was thrown down the well by Dr Ikuma. (SHE WAS ALIVE FOR 30 YEARS! NOT SEVEN DAYS.) 

**Missq**


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